Guest dietary needs and allergies: sorting it out without asking at the table
A server asking out loud "who ordered the gluten-free plate?" is the worst possible moment to find out someone's dietary needs — the whole table hears it, the guest feels singled out, and the answer arrives too late to change what's already on the plate. This can all be set up ahead of time, so staff simply know before the first course goes down.
Collecting it before you need it
The simplest way is to ask when guests confirm they're coming — by phone, message, or a short online form. Three categories are enough to start: vegetarian, vegan, andallergies or intolerances (with room to specify, since "no nuts" and "no dairy" are completely different dishes). An open question — "any dietary restrictions?" — collects more than a checkbox list, because not every case fits a preset category.
Passing it to the caterer
A caterer needs two things: the count of special meals broken down by type, anda list of exactly who ordered which — so the right plate can physically reach the right table and the right seat. Get this to them at least a week before the wedding, when they're confirming final numbers anyway.
Marking the seat discreetly
A server who doesn't know which plate belongs to whom will still ask at the table — which is why it's worth marking the seat itself, not just a list in the kitchen. Ways to do that without it being obvious to other guests:
- A symbol on the place card — a small, consistent dot or icon in the corner of the name card, agreed with the venue beforehand. To guests it just reads as decoration.
- A coloured ribbon or sticker under the plate — invisible to the guest, visible to the server setting the table.
- A separate card for staff with the seating plan and marked seats — kept in the kitchen, not on the floor.
The condition for this to work: one agreed code, known to both you and the venue manager or catering lead — not something improvised on the day.
calm.wedding deliberately doesn't collect or store guests' dietary or allergy information — it's sensitive data, and the guest list in the app is, by design, visible to anyone who has the wedding's link. Collect it through a separate, private channel — a conversation, a message, or a form — and pass it directly to the caterer as described above.
Common questions
When should we ask guests about dietary needs?
Alongside RSVP, typically 4–6 weeks before the wedding. Asked too early, the question tends to get ignored — guests aren't thinking about details yet.
What if someone reports an allergy a week before the wedding?
Most caterers accept changes up to a few days ahead — ask about the cutoff when you sign the contract, so you know how much room you have for late reports.
Do we need to ask every guest individually?
Not always — parents usually answer for children, and for a large family group, one person collecting answers on everyone's behalf is often enough. What matters is that the question reaches people, not that it reaches everyone the same way.
Next: wedding cost per guest — why more guests can sometimes mean a lower cost each →